


Glass

by imadra_blue



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Background Leia/Han, Canon - Movie, Complete, Drama, Emotional, Gen, Missing Scene, One Shot, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Vignette, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadra_blue/pseuds/imadra_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia and Chewbacca finally talk about what happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vongchild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vongchild/gifts).



> Written on a prompt for Christmas 2015: ["There's not much time for mourning in wartime."](http://imadra-blue.dreamwidth.org/479529.html?thread=9888297#cmt9888297) Major, major spoilers for The Force Awakens. This is my first post-TFA piece, so I'm still ironing out my voices and approaches. Concrit welcome.

…

Leia wondered how she was supposed to feel now that Han was dead. There were so many emotions that seemed appropriate: horror, sadness, anger, or even guilt. And she supposed all those emotions were there. Somewhere. Buried beneath miles of empty reflective glass. She left them there, where they belonged. She had too much else to do to reflect on them.

Rey was preparing to find Luke, swearing she would bring him back. But Leia knew better than to hold the girl to that, even if she was who Leia suspected her to be. After all that Leia had sacrificed to find her brother, she had no power to force him back. She knew she couldn't stop and think too long about it. All those feelings would break the glass, and that was dangerous for anyone with her abilities. She did the same thing she had done after Tarkin had destroyed Alderaan and after Ben first turned to the dark side: she worked.

Everyone else in the Resistance took her cue. They had to pack up their base and find another, safer from the long arm of the First Order. Poe Dameron neatly took command and saw to many of the details. The only break he took was to visit the comatose Finn as he slept in the bacta tank. Though jovial with the others, every time Poe saw Leia, he snapped to attention with a grave look on his face. She hated that look enough that she kept walking past him without acknowledgment. If she slowed down, she worried the glass would crack on impact.

As she snapped out order after order, it seemed the entire bae's population turned out for some need or another or to ask her how she was doing. The only one who avoided her was Chewbacca. Upon word that Rey was going to find Luke, he instantly volunteered himself and the _Millennium Falcon_ to help her. The offer took off skin. Leia had always thought that one day Ben would have taken the _Falcon_. By all rights, it should have been him that would fly off in the pilot's seat beside Chewbacca, not Rey. But instead he was the reason that the pilot's seat had a vacancy.

Just allowing herself that small thought of what had Ben had done stole Leia's breath. She paused in the corridor and leaned against a wall, forcing herself to remember how to breathe. In, out, in, out. Her lower jaw trembled, and she felt something stuck in her throat. Down the hall, she saw Chewbacca turn the corner and face her. His eyes widened a bit, and he turned back the way he came.

Leia had thought nothing would hurt as much as Poe's grave expression, but she had been wrong. Seeing Chewie literally flee her presence stung worse than anything. Of all the people she knew, he was the one who should understand best how she should feel. He had been Han's best friend, his partner, long before she had even met him. In many ways, he knew Han better than she ever had.

Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Leia balled her fists and took a deep breath. Then she marched after Chewie, surprised that she was able to catch up to him in just a few short minutes. Given how long his legs were and how short hers were, perhaps he wasn't trying very hard to escape her after all.

"Chewie, wait," Leia said, reaching for him.

Chewie jerked his arm away, and her fingers closed on wisps of fur. He took a step forward, but then paused without looking back.

It had to be her that went first, it seemed. Sometimes, Chewie was just like Han. Leia licked her lips and stepped closer. No one was heading down the corridor Chewie had led her into—it was in the residential areas, and most people were loading up the transports in the hangars. "We haven't talked."

"What is there to say?" Chewie woofed.

Leia crossed her arms and stared at the floor. "A lot. And neither of us will likely say much of it."

Chewie grunted his agreement.

"Why won't you talk to me? Even at the memorial service, you wouldn't even look at me." Leia swallowed, but her mouth was too dry and she had to take a moment. "Are you angry at me?"

The startled groan suggested Chewie wasn't. He turned to face her, his blue eyes filled with something that anyone, human or Wookie, would recognize as guilt.

Leia reached for him against, and this time she closed her fingers around his wrist. "What is it, Chewie? You were there to the end for him. I was the one that always let him go."

"No," Chewie growled. "He loved you. You know that. I was the one that failed him."

"You?" Anger finally flashed through her, seeping through the seams of the glass. "The one that failed him was me. I sent our son away, and he… he turned so dark, so black. And he… I can't even think of it." Leia covered her mouth, trembling now that the sadness had swept through as well. "How could he?"

Chewie watched her with glittering eyes. "I shot him," he barked. "I'm sorry."

Leia blinked. "Han? But it was Ben that—"

"Not Han. Ben. I shot him. Han wouldn't have wanted that. He would've been so angry if he knew I shot his son. But after Han fell—I couldn't even think. I just pulled the trigger. I think I hurt Ben badly."

Leia stared at Chewie. The glass cracked, and more anger and grief leaked, leaving her shaking like a leaf. He reached out and steadied her with two large paws, his strangely human gaze fixed on her. He held her as she shook through all the emotions, all the grief that she hadn't allowed herself to feel. It ran through her quickly, like an Imperial toxin, and when she was done, he wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs.

"He's all I have left, Chewie. Light or dark, that is my son," Leia whispered, her voice stronger than she expected. "Please don't hurt him again. For Han's sake. For my sake."

Chewie stared at her. "He was like my child, too. I carried him on my shoulders as a babe. I loved him like he was born of the same tree. Do you think I want to hurt him?"

Leia hadn't considered that. She'd been so selfish, so wrapped up in her own loss, that she hadn't realized Chewie had lost just as much. She pressed her face to his chest and wrapped her arms around him, willing her anger to turn into glass, just as Luke had once taught her. "When you see Luke, you tell him there is still good in my son. Our son. The light is there, and I will find it. If Luke could save Vader, after all that man did, then I can save Ben. Or I will die trying."

"I believe you," Chewie whispered.

Leia didn't ask what part he believed, for her own sake.


End file.
